Everything I Learned Abroad - Unfiltered Advice

I spent ninety days in the Schengen region, specifically in Spain and France, and here’s everything I learned:

Friends are everywhere

Palace of Versailles - Château de Versailles

Making friends is easier than you think. One of my best friends was such an amazing support system on my down days when I traveled. Even though she was five thousand miles away, she always knew exactly what to say. She constantly embarked on these kinds of adventures and her experiences she shared became roadmaps of how I wanted my travel to be. Here’s the gist of what she told me: there are so many people your age, older, younger, who are all doing the exact same thing as you: traveling. They are all equally as eager to meet new people and make friends. 

If you’re lucky like I was, some of these people you connect with then lead to long-distance friendships, where you then plan trips to see them in their hometowns or meet somewhere in the middle. Something super special I do with one is a morning podcast where we update each other every few days to keep up with what’s going on. When I see the notification come through, it sparks excitement within me because I know there's something that I have to look forward to. 

Some of these friends you meet organically and in person, while others you meet online. I’m very fortunate that all my friendship-based interactions transitioned into very beautiful connections, but I know that doesn't always happen to everyone. I always advise you to trust your gut; it’s never wrong, so if something feels off, there must be a reason. Some of my favorite applications for meeting people when I was staying in a city for an extended amount of time were: TripBFF, BumbleBFF, and Hostelworld Chat. 

When it came to meeting people organically, it was through friends of friends, which, in my opinion, is the biggest honor. There was also connecting with those in shared flats, usually students or travelers who were in the city for a set amount of time. Lastly, at bars or clubs on nights out, as soon as I heard English, something within instantly pushed me to go have a conversation with those individuals.

It does take some effort to just show up and converse and see where it goes. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I met people who had been in the same city for as long as I have, towards the end of my trip, and I wished I’d met them sooner because their energy was exactly what I was looking for. 

All in all, friends are everywhere you just have to look for them, I promise it's not that hard.

Being abroad brings out the extrovert in you.

I wouldn't have classified myself as an extrovert three months ago. I would probably say I had introverted tendencies but an extroverted personality that wasn’t quite ready to come out. Being abroad, I met a friend who taught me how to unapologetically be the best version of myself. I very seldom meet friends where we just click, and that’s how it felt with him. He was the kind of person you dance in the rain with or sing at the top of your lungs with in the middle of the night. Let's note that I am 1000% a terrible singer, and he was a much better and more talented singer than I ever was. But, for those few minutes, it felt like we were on the same playing field, and having a portable speaker at full blast definitely helped. My point with those examples is this one of my favorite analogies: it felt like we could be both stupid together, and I loved it. 

He made friends everywhere, and when I tagged along on his adventures, I couldn't help but notice how much he rubbed off on me in the best ways. So, without realizing it, the extrovert in me began to blossom as time passed. When we parted ways to continue our travels on opposite sides of the world was then that I realized how much I had changed. That’s the kind of beauty that travel is all about, it pushes you to reflect and learn a lot about yourself. Being an extrovert was only the start. In doing so, though, I feel like I was able to do and dive into solo travel more authentically.  

You may feel lonely, but you’re not alone

Learning to appreciate solitude & your own company

Being alone has never scared me, maybe it's because of how independent I am. 

While traveling, sometimes there were days where I truly was alone and didn’t interact with anyone, maybe to order a coffee or a meal, but nothing of substance. In those instances, I learned to push myself to focus my energy on my passions or focus on learning new skills online. I spent a lot of my time in Paris at the BNF, I was taking a course at the time, and I felt that surrounding myself with other scholars was going to truly be the only way I would focus. It worked wonderfully, and most days after hours at the BNF surrounded by people and books in this truly majestic library, I couldn’t help but feel exhausted and mentally drained even without having one single human interacting.

Some days I would take myself out for solo dinners after those very mentally draining days. Sometimes I would take myself on a leisure walk as a reward for the hours I endured in front of a computer screen. Usually, the coursework and lectures were the only English I would listen to because everywhere else in the outside world, I was surrounded by French.

I was in a city whose language I wasn't fluent in, but knew enough to get by. I took yoga and workout classes where I was able to immerse myself fully and practice my French. It might sound depressing, but it wasn’t. I was in Paris for crying out loud! Overall, I learned that even though I couldn't fully communicate with people in French, I found joy in the little moments where I was able to find friends, literature, or even events where English was present. The sound of English or Spanish alone made me feel less lonely, and it's something so small we sometimes forget. Being able to understand is something we take for granted. 

I may have been alone but I knew that all my friends in the States were only a phone call away. Some of them were even counting down the days for my arrival back in Texas. That warmed my heart in ways you can’t even imagine. I felt so loved. So yes, there were days were I was alone, but I was never lonely. 

The thirst for more is imminent & home will become a feeling and not a place

Traveling and living out of a suitcase taught me a lot about minimalism, learning to let go of materialistic items. Traveling taught me that I can build a home anywhere in the world and that it doesn't have to be big or grand. Traveling taught me that home is a feeling, and it can be felt anywhere in the world because the right people can make any place feel like home. 

Everyone I have met has opened their doors to me, and so in a way I have little mini homes all around the world. Never anything permanent, but definitely a safe place to crash if I ever need it. 

Does that make me a nomad now? Maybe just a tad. What I have learned is that all the people I met feel more like home than my hometown does now. Yes, my hometown has my parents and my little chonk waiting for me, but it doesn't mean that’s where I see myself in the future. If anything, it's the place I know I can always come back to for comfort, but never a place I can go to be challenged. I truly think that’s what’s missing in my life now. I think a lot of people who travel experience this feeling. It's a little sad, a little bittersweet, but more than anything, it's a thirst to search for more. 

If home is a feeling and the thirst for more is present, in no time, I’ll be on another one-way ticket out of the country to, honestly, who knows where. Twenty-four-year-old me could literally never, but twenty-six-year-old me is fearless. 

Write to yourself, future you will thank you for it

Postcards to Friends

I don't regret much, but if there's something I could go back in time to do, it’s this. If you solo travel, write to yourself, to your friends, to your family. The future you will thank you for it because there will be something tangible to reference the feelings that you felt when you wrote those words to yourself the first time. 

I started keeping a journal in Paris and that journal I will hold dearly and one day show to my kids because I want them to see a glimpse of who I once was. I want them to see that journal filled to the brim with notes, letters, stickers, and who knows what else. Even now that the first leg of my adventure is over and I read what I wrote three months ago, I can’t help but shed tears of joy because that's the closest I get to reliving those memories. Travel taught me how to live in the present, to take my time (no hay prisa). It also taught me that memory fades, and sometimes written words are what will teleport you to that moment in time. 

Sometimes I look at my camera roll, and January feels like a lifetime ago. It feels like in ninety days, I have lived three different lives, and I’m beginning year four now that I’ve made it back to the States. When I don't have my journal sometimes I’ll make voice notes and then later jot them down on paper. My point here is that words are more powerful than you think.

So as I digress, if there is anything you take away from this post, let it be the writing part. Write in a journal and send out those postcards, I promise your friends appreciate them more than you imagine. Sometimes they’ll even call you crying when they received it because it truly made their day.

And if any of my international friends are reading this, send me postcards too, pretty please. 

And on that note, to the rest, best wishes and safe travels!